I feel like many can agree that the past few years have felt like a state of perpetual adjustment to new circumstances. Transitioning from the pandemic to the Junior High and then High school- in addition to circumstances outside of school- left me in a peculiar place. About a year ago, when the dust began to settle, I was discontented and nihilistic, neglecing both myself and others.
At that low point, I began a journey to better myself. While it remains a long process that requires intentional effort, I am in a much better than I have been in years.
It began with reconciliation. After losing people who meant a lot to me, I knew I needed to come to terms with what was happening. The method I found worked best for me was to journaling. Every day, I wrote poems, songs and silent letters to people- even though I knew that many of them would never be received.
In doing this, my emotions became something that I could properly analyze and understand. With time, what I lost became a distant happy memory that I could look back on as a lesson; learning is the best way to make the most of a bad outcome.
Identifying what needs to change is essential to helping oneself. For me, this meant looking back on how I acted, how others react and how I felt about the world.
For example, I can be a very pessimistic person, but I saw how that negatively affected those around me through my journal entries.
To improve, I researched ways to shift my mindset. I focused on finding silver linings, only vocalizing negatives when it really matters and being more supportive of others. The goal was not to create false positivity, but to reframe my focus on what is good.
While this process takes time, the effects are visible if you are patient.
It is worth mentioning that working on yourself is never linear. It is too complex to be tackled all at once. Attempting to do so will lead to failure. If happiness is the goal, chasing it directly will lead to nothing. You must create the conditions for it to grow on its own.
Finally, I am now focusing on something I wish I had started years ago: my physical health. I had tried and failed multiple times, but what gave me momentum was taking advantage of my psychology: I know that I am very incentive-deadline based, so I created a system to encourage that. I could earn points by eating healthy- without eating too much, working out and eating enough protein, and I also kept track of my weight loss with reasonable goals and predictions based on research.
I have far more energy nowadays, and the difference in mental health when relying on junk compared to eating healthy is ridiculous. Physical health and mental health are more interconnected than many think.
What I’ve outlined here only scrapes the surface, and everyone’s journey is different. If you truly want to better yourself, the best place to start is to begin research and ask people you trust for support.
